Ancient Aliens, Aleister Crowley, and Why You Should Probably Buy a Rifle

A Wise Wolf (Not So) Special Report

The History Channel has been airing Ancient Aliens since approximately the Paleolithic Era. At least it feels that long. The show premiered in 2009, which means we are now fifteen years into Giorgio Tsoukalos explaining that literally everything in human history was built by aliens.

The pyramids? Aliens. Stonehenge? Aliens. Your grandmother’s suspiciously perfect apple pie? Probably aliens.

I used to think this show was fascinating. Back when I was a secular idiot who didn’t believe in God because I fell for the Satanic psyop that turned everything into a clownworld disaster, I would watch episode after episode and nod along like it all made perfect sense. Of course the Nazca Lines were alien landing strips. What else could they possibly be? (Ceremonial pathways for religious rituals, but who has time for boring archaeological consensus when you can have ALIENS.)

Then I started actually reading the source material these people keep citing. Zecharia Sitchin’s books, specifically. For those unfamiliar, Sitchin was the guy who claimed to translate ancient Sumerian texts and discovered that humanity was created by aliens called the Anunnaki to mine gold for them. We were, according to Sitchin, literally engineered to be slave labor for extraterrestrial overlords.

Here’s the problem. Actual scholars who can read Sumerian (not self-taught hobbyists with a theory to sell) have looked at Sitchin’s translations and determined they are, to use the technical academic term, completely made up. Michael Heiser, who had a PhD in Hebrew Bible and Ancient Semitic Languages, spent years debunking Sitchin’s work point by point. Turns out when you actually know how to read ancient Sumerian, the texts say nothing about alien genetic engineering programs. They say a lot about gods and creation myths and flood narratives, but nothing about Nibiru or ancient astronauts.

So Sitchin was either deliberately lying or so incompetent at translation that his work is useless. Either way, the entire foundation of the ancient alien theory is built on fabricated evidence. But the show keeps airing. And airing. And airing.

My dad is obsessed with Ancient Aliens. Completely obsessed. He watches every episode multiple times. He has theories. He has IDEAS. He is convinced, and I am not making this up, that he himself might be an ancient alien.

I have a different theory.

I think he’s an Ancient Untreated Bipolar Schizophrenic Alcoholic, but that’s beside the point.

The point is that Ancient Aliens has done its job. The show exists to normalize the idea that humanity was created by extraterrestrial beings to serve as their slaves. It takes an explicitly Satanic worldview (humans as property, created for exploitation) and packages it as quirky alternative history. Everyone and their grandmother has watched this show. It’s become pop culture. It’s become a meme. And while everyone is laughing at Giorgio’s hair, they’re also absorbing the underlying message: maybe we aren’t made in the image of God. Maybe we’re just biological robots engineered by superior beings.

But here’s where it gets really interesting.

Aleister Crowley, the famous occultist and self-proclaimed “wickedest man in the world,” once said that in the future, spirits and demons would be rebranded. The exact quote is: “The spirits of the future will be called space people.” Crowley knew what was coming. He knew that as the world became more secular and “scientific,” people would stop believing in demons and devils and fallen angels. So the entities he spent his life summoning would need a new marketing campaign.

And what did Crowley summon during his magical workings? He drew detailed pictures of an entity he called Lam. Go look up the drawing. I’ll wait.

It’s a gray alien. The classic big-headed, big-eyed, spindly-limbed gray alien that has become the standard pop culture image of extraterrestrial life. Crowley drew that thing in 1918, decades before the modern UFO phenomenon began. He wasn’t channeling aliens. He was summoning demons. He just knew that eventually everyone would call them aliens instead.

That’s what did it for me. That’s when I realized the aliens are demons and this whole thing is a massive spiritual deception that’s been in the works for over a century.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. The government’s recent push for UFO disclosure is just a distraction from the Epstein files and elite corruption. And yes, that’s definitely part of it. Nothing distracts from a pedophile blackmail network quite like claiming we’ve made contact with non-human intelligence. But I think there’s more to it than misdirection.

My guess? We are less than five to ten years away from full disclosure. All these Satan-worshiping witch cult members who have been summoning these demonic entities from hell for decades are going to stand in front of cameras and announce that first contact has been made. The aliens are here. They want to help us. They have advanced technology and wisdom. They’ve been watching us for millennia. And because our politicians have made such a complete mess of the world (wars, poverty, climate change, economic collapse), we should probably let these helpful space friends take the reins of power and guide us into a new era of peace and prosperity.

Don’t fall for it.

The day that happens is the day you need to grab your rifle and start heading to Washington, or we are going to witness what the pre-flood world really looked like. A nightmare hellscape where human beings were farmed like cattle and eaten by demonic blood magician monsters.

Yeah, this sounds like science fiction or fantasy, and that’s exactly the point. The pre-flood world WAS a freak show. Read the Book of Enoch if you want an idea of how genuinely weird things were back then. Shapeshifting giants. Advanced technology. Magic that actually worked. Fallen angels breeding with humans. Pretty much every bizarre element you’d expect to see in a Lord of the Rings sequel to Star Wars, except it was real.

The world is a weird place. It’s full of weird stuff.

Hell is even weirder. Just look at a Hieronymus Bosch painting if you don’t believe me. That guy wasn’t making things up.

He was painting what he saw in visions of the demonic realm. And if you think those nightmare creatures couldn’t manifest in our reality, you haven’t been paying attention to what the global elite have been doing behind closed doors.

This article is kind of dragging on at this point, and honestly the only reason I wrote it was to act as a segue to my new AWESOME AS HECK music video from Jesus and the Nazareths. I went back to my old Rolling Stones and Iggy Pop rock and roll roots and made something I think you’re really going to love. It’s got everything: guitars, spiritual warfare, and a beat you can dance to while contemplating the impending demonic invasion disguised as alien disclosure.

And look, I know this whole article sounds completely insane. Ancient aliens are actually ancient demons. The government is preparing us for fake first contact. Crowley predicted the whole thing. Your dad might think he’s an extraterrestrial (just me?). The pre-flood world was a cosmic horror story.

But here’s the thing. I used to advise a Taiwanese billionaire on tech stocks. I had a career trajectory that would have made me very wealthy. I gave all that up to warn people about exactly this kind of spiritual deception. Not because I’m crazy, but because I’ve seen how the elite operate. I’ve seen what they believe. I’ve read their books and studied their symbols and tracked their money.

They worship something. And whatever it is, it isn’t God.

So when the government finally announces that we’re not alone in the universe and our new alien friends are here to help, remember this article. Remember Crowley’s prediction. Remember Lam. Remember that the same people who covered up Epstein’s client list are the ones telling you to trust the space people.

And maybe buy a rifle. Just in case.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for watching the music video (you did watch it, right?). And if you can afford a cup of coffee so Lily and I can eat real food instead of crock pot rice and beans for me and ramen noodle soup for her (she’s in college and the meal plan is apparently optional when you’re broke), we’d really appreciate it. The Wise Wolf gave up a corner office to write about demon rebranding strategies. In retrospect, this may not have been the soundest financial decision. But somebody has to warn the normies, and the normies don’t read academic papers about ancient Sumerian linguistics.

They do, however, watch music videos about spiritual warfare set to rock and roll…

Help keep the Wise Wolf howling (and rocking!)

(SERIOUSLY WATCH THE VIDEO - I SPENT NEXT MONTHS FOOD BUDGET MAKING THIS THING!)