We wrote about ICE locking up babies (and somehow lost 42 paid subscribers because of it.) We wrote about Lindsay Clancy killing her own three kids and about the surprisingly large army of people online who seem to think murdering children is fine as long as you can somehow blame Big Pharma for it. We wrote about technocratic fascists plotting to take over the world and run it like a corporation that already fired HR.
That is a lot of darkness to carry in one week. I do not have the shoulders of a Navy SEAL. I have the shoulders of a guy who mostly types for a living, which means I have no shoulders unless my Salvation Army suit jacket happened to come with shoulder pads because it was made in 1985 and shoulder pads were a thing back then.
Lily noticed. She called me last night and did not ease into it. She said, ‘YOU BETTER WRITE SOMETHING POSITIVE THIS WEEK OR ELSE BOSSMAN’.
I want you to know I took that threat completely seriously.
Lily is about five feet tall and maybe ninety five pounds soaking wet and somehow that makes her scarier and not LESS scary.
I have genuine recurring nightmares about her borrowing her dad’s SUV and driving 11 hours to my motel room to beat me up.
So here we are. Something positive.
Instead of depression and anxiety today you are getting one video of funny kids and one video of cute animals. Watch them. They will make you laugh and they will make you feel better. They did the same thing for me and I stare at news clips eighty hours a week for barely enough money to keep the lights on. That tells you something about how bad I needed a laugh. If it worked on a miserable computer desk jockey who still cannot pay his editor what she is worth, it will work on you too. That is sort of the whole point.
I am old enough to remember when the actual news did this on purpose. Local broadcasts, the national desk, even the twenty four hour outrage factories like CNN and Fox used to toss in one feel good story every half hour. It worked the way a boxer’s corner squeezes in a sponge of water between rounds, just enough to keep you standing for the next hit. A dog reunited with its family after a flood. A kid raising money for somebody else’s chemo. It was corny and it worked.
Somewhere along the way somebody decided balance was bad for ratings. These days the corner sits empty and we are all just standing there taking hit after hit and hoping the bell rings before we hit the canvas face first. So I guess it is on us now.
If any of this actually made you laugh today or gave the pit in your stomach a five minute vacation, do me a favor and share it with somebody who needs it worse than you do. No paid subscription pitch this article. I am tired of asking and you are tired of hearing it. About four people ever click the button anyway and one of them was probably an accident. Three years of running Substack has left my health held together with duct tape and spite and my mind feeling like it is made of rotten cottage cheese and moldy mashed potatoes. Sharing costs nothing and it might keep one more person from doom scrolling straight into a ditch tonight.
Help keep the Wise Wolf sane?
(Lily will thank you. So will Motel Six management.)
omg...
when i said write something positive this is NOT what i had in mind! and just because i told you i bought a taser during the ICE riots here in MN does not mean I sneak around parking garages stalking 'big sad wolves' to electrocute submission them into compliance!
lol
you are such a weirdo bossman.
hahaha slight change of pace, no complaints