Im very sad to say that your parents and probably their parents were under the influence of demons. I somewhat relate to your story so I empathize with you. Im guessing due to your torture by these demon people they inadvertently created a great teacher (you) i appreciate you and hope you make it through this chaos and insanity called life that we know live in
Hey. I respectfully suggest reading "God Calling," edited by AJ Russell. Easy read, set up as a daily reader, January 1, January 2, etc.
Also, a great way to eliminate any personality defects, baggage, resentment, etc., (all those things that block God out) would be to utilize Steps 2-12 of the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. It works wonders for sanity. If you're into taking Step 1, that would be on you.
I am so sorry that you had these parents, mine were not much better, my saving grace was meeting my husband at 17, weird story, but we are still married 36 years later. Thank God you had great grandparents. My dad, the worst of the 2 just died in January at 82, I would pray for God to take him, he was just so mean. I cried seeing him in the casket, but I have not shed a tear since, and I won't. Please do not drink again, I did the same, I was a heavy drinker my entire life, I just quit almost 90 days ago, I had slowed down, but I want it out of my life, I am 55 and I want to live, now that I do not have that narcissist SOB on earth, and I do not have to cater to his every whim, I can finally breathe.
I can relate to the relief that comes when your abusive parent dies. It’s almost as if life gets a bit easier at that moment. There’s a sense of peace that comes when a malignant narcissist is no longer going to be able to harm you in any way.
Once again, thank you for your brutal honesty. I pray writing this was cathartic for you. I'm sure it's helping others on the pot-holed path of hell on earth. I'm so thankful you are choosing LIFE and LOVE, WW. I have no doubt whatsoever that these building blocks of pain in your life have forged who you are today. Keep seeking the only ONE who gives life, who IS love, who is the only ONE who can give you the power to overcome. Jesus. You are on the list. I'm praying for you daily, but now I know how to pray better.....You are loved with an everlasting love and there is a purpose for your life.
Your tales of your childhood show that "country folks" with intact 2-parent families are just as capable of cruelty and abuse of their children as their counterparts in broken, urban households. Be assured that there a lot of us out here--survivors. You can't claw back the stolen innocence of childhood--but you sure can kick the living hell out of the memory of who stole it from you. Drugs and booze can't repair the cracks in your foundation--but your own will and love for yourself can. Keep your head up buddy.
I don’t know what is more amazing to me: the horror of your past with your parents or the beauty of your current hopefulness despite all the pain you endured.
Thanks for sharing your story with us . I got sober last year after a lifelong battle and I just wanted to tell you, I understand the struggle and I'm so damn proud 🦚 of you brother, We are STRONGER THAN MOST !!! I LOVE YOU 💖🫂
What a tale you have told us…am there with you since my Dear Wife has similar tales to tell of her Mom and Dad and now her siblings who are mimicking the dead Dad and dead Mom in absentia while she is going thru some seriously tough times…these days it is all about the lawyers (my Dear Wife’s and theirs)
Although my circumstances were a bit different, I sympathize completely. One thing though. Of the utmost importance. Make sure you forgive your father. Not for you. Not for him. It will feel odd and you won't want to. And he might even laugh or mock or whatever. But It's a spiritual thing. The love of the Heavenly Father will come flowing through after. So if you are holding on to anything deep in your heart LET IT GO. Confront him, forgive him and then just let it go. God will take care of the rest. Trust me on that. Because I had to do the same thing and it it felt like nothing. But there are spiritual laws that human emotions run contrary to or are oblivious to. My best to you.
My Old Man’s thing was to compete with everyone and everything for attention which he would do by acting hurt, frightened, concerned, worried, upset, whatever no matter what was going on. Everyone had to stop and focus on him and take care of his “concerns”. Imagine that: you’re a kid and you did something that was innocent fun and your old man reacts like you did something awful that hurt him!
That was the retail level. He also did dopey things that had the potential to turn into huge problems - like lying on a fire insurance application about having a wood stove so that he could beat the insurance company out of $12 a YEAR. And if the house burned down and the policy was voided we were supposed to forgive him because he was so upset. That’s just one example.
So, how do you forgive someone who manipulates situations so that you are expected to forgive him?
The day he croaked my sister and I went out and had a bottle of champagne.
It's a matter of the spirit, not a matter of the soul. If we don't forgive those around us of their sins against us then the Heavenly Father above cannot forgive us of our own sins. But with those who are close to us who hurt us ohhh how hard it is to forgive them, right? But once you do forgive them, the spiritual blockage is removed and God can work in your life. That's all I'm saying. I wasn't even a Christian or anything when I forgave my dad. But oddly enough that one act opened up the door for God. It is what it is.
I am loving you so much right now, WW, there are not enough words in the entire world to convey. Also, so very proud of you and of our GOD for all He saved you from, brought you through, and the truly great man each of these trials has helped to produce. Other than that, I can tell you this: No matter how good a person's childhood looks or even was, in our fallen world deep sorrow comes to all human beings... but "comes to PASS!" Hindsight: My biggest regret is allowing twelve years of grief and regret consume and rob me. For all the control I had over what happened, that grief should have been allowed twelve minutes.
This is such a powerful story and reminder of how we can all move forward by acknowledging the sickness that exists, and not allow it the power that ignorance gives it.
Im very sad to say that your parents and probably their parents were under the influence of demons. I somewhat relate to your story so I empathize with you. Im guessing due to your torture by these demon people they inadvertently created a great teacher (you) i appreciate you and hope you make it through this chaos and insanity called life that we know live in
Amazingly honest & beautifully written. Thank you for trusting us with your story. It deserves a wider audience.
Hey. I respectfully suggest reading "God Calling," edited by AJ Russell. Easy read, set up as a daily reader, January 1, January 2, etc.
Also, a great way to eliminate any personality defects, baggage, resentment, etc., (all those things that block God out) would be to utilize Steps 2-12 of the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. It works wonders for sanity. If you're into taking Step 1, that would be on you.
Wise Wolf, I'm so sorry you went through that, man.
Your article reminds me about M Scott Peck's People of the Lie -- a seminal read.
And a homily I read recently where a priest spelled out the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.
Always forgive, so we don't get poisoned by hatred and resentment.
But if someone is abusive, do not reconcile with them. Stay away and protect yourself.
Thank you for your courage and candor.
Forgiveness? Yes. Access? Denied.
Well said
I am so sorry that you had these parents, mine were not much better, my saving grace was meeting my husband at 17, weird story, but we are still married 36 years later. Thank God you had great grandparents. My dad, the worst of the 2 just died in January at 82, I would pray for God to take him, he was just so mean. I cried seeing him in the casket, but I have not shed a tear since, and I won't. Please do not drink again, I did the same, I was a heavy drinker my entire life, I just quit almost 90 days ago, I had slowed down, but I want it out of my life, I am 55 and I want to live, now that I do not have that narcissist SOB on earth, and I do not have to cater to his every whim, I can finally breathe.
I can relate to the relief that comes when your abusive parent dies. It’s almost as if life gets a bit easier at that moment. There’s a sense of peace that comes when a malignant narcissist is no longer going to be able to harm you in any way.
Agreed!
Once again, thank you for your brutal honesty. I pray writing this was cathartic for you. I'm sure it's helping others on the pot-holed path of hell on earth. I'm so thankful you are choosing LIFE and LOVE, WW. I have no doubt whatsoever that these building blocks of pain in your life have forged who you are today. Keep seeking the only ONE who gives life, who IS love, who is the only ONE who can give you the power to overcome. Jesus. You are on the list. I'm praying for you daily, but now I know how to pray better.....You are loved with an everlasting love and there is a purpose for your life.
Your tales of your childhood show that "country folks" with intact 2-parent families are just as capable of cruelty and abuse of their children as their counterparts in broken, urban households. Be assured that there a lot of us out here--survivors. You can't claw back the stolen innocence of childhood--but you sure can kick the living hell out of the memory of who stole it from you. Drugs and booze can't repair the cracks in your foundation--but your own will and love for yourself can. Keep your head up buddy.
I don’t know what is more amazing to me: the horror of your past with your parents or the beauty of your current hopefulness despite all the pain you endured.
God bless your grandparents and God keep you!
Wise Wolf 🦉 🐺
Thanks for sharing your story with us . I got sober last year after a lifelong battle and I just wanted to tell you, I understand the struggle and I'm so damn proud 🦚 of you brother, We are STRONGER THAN MOST !!! I LOVE YOU 💖🫂
Jeez-O-Pete, dude!
What a tale you have told us…am there with you since my Dear Wife has similar tales to tell of her Mom and Dad and now her siblings who are mimicking the dead Dad and dead Mom in absentia while she is going thru some seriously tough times…these days it is all about the lawyers (my Dear Wife’s and theirs)
Nuff said, dude
Keep on rockin’ in the free world
And
Onward thru the fog, as Oat Willie sez
I divorced my parents in my late 40's. My father was a different kind of bad than yours, but I'd had enough of both of them.
Although my circumstances were a bit different, I sympathize completely. One thing though. Of the utmost importance. Make sure you forgive your father. Not for you. Not for him. It will feel odd and you won't want to. And he might even laugh or mock or whatever. But It's a spiritual thing. The love of the Heavenly Father will come flowing through after. So if you are holding on to anything deep in your heart LET IT GO. Confront him, forgive him and then just let it go. God will take care of the rest. Trust me on that. Because I had to do the same thing and it it felt like nothing. But there are spiritual laws that human emotions run contrary to or are oblivious to. My best to you.
“Make sure you forgive your father.”
Sounds good, but …
My Old Man’s thing was to compete with everyone and everything for attention which he would do by acting hurt, frightened, concerned, worried, upset, whatever no matter what was going on. Everyone had to stop and focus on him and take care of his “concerns”. Imagine that: you’re a kid and you did something that was innocent fun and your old man reacts like you did something awful that hurt him!
That was the retail level. He also did dopey things that had the potential to turn into huge problems - like lying on a fire insurance application about having a wood stove so that he could beat the insurance company out of $12 a YEAR. And if the house burned down and the policy was voided we were supposed to forgive him because he was so upset. That’s just one example.
So, how do you forgive someone who manipulates situations so that you are expected to forgive him?
The day he croaked my sister and I went out and had a bottle of champagne.
It's a matter of the spirit, not a matter of the soul. If we don't forgive those around us of their sins against us then the Heavenly Father above cannot forgive us of our own sins. But with those who are close to us who hurt us ohhh how hard it is to forgive them, right? But once you do forgive them, the spiritual blockage is removed and God can work in your life. That's all I'm saying. I wasn't even a Christian or anything when I forgave my dad. But oddly enough that one act opened up the door for God. It is what it is.
Some of people have suffered in this life. I like to think it made them stronger.
I am loving you so much right now, WW, there are not enough words in the entire world to convey. Also, so very proud of you and of our GOD for all He saved you from, brought you through, and the truly great man each of these trials has helped to produce. Other than that, I can tell you this: No matter how good a person's childhood looks or even was, in our fallen world deep sorrow comes to all human beings... but "comes to PASS!" Hindsight: My biggest regret is allowing twelve years of grief and regret consume and rob me. For all the control I had over what happened, that grief should have been allowed twelve minutes.
Self preservation and self love... Walking away actually empowers.... A new beginning once u get the toxicity out.
This is such a powerful story and reminder of how we can all move forward by acknowledging the sickness that exists, and not allow it the power that ignorance gives it.