Satan: The Ultimate Douchebag of the Universe

Even if you do not believe in God - you'd be an idiot not to recognize all the evil in this world is deliberate.

When you think about the worst kind of person—someone who takes pleasure in other people's suffering, who lies constantly, manipulates emotions, and delights in watching lives crumble—you're essentially describing one being: Satan. Forget petty criminals or backstabbing exes; we're talking about the cosmic-level douchebag who somehow convinced humanity that he was just a misunderstood rebel. Spoiler alert: He’s not. He’s a mentally deranged sadist with zero redeeming qualities, masquerading as some edgy antihero while leaving destruction in his wake.

Let’s start at the beginning. According to most religious lore, Satan (Lucifer, if you’re going by his original angelic name) was created as the most beautiful, powerful, and perfect being in all of creation. Literally, God went all out. Think of him as the divine prototype of perfection—flawless appearance, unmatched intelligence, and an angelic résumé that could make even Michael Jordan look like benchwarmer material.

But what did this go…