There’s a Blood Moon This Week and I’m Trying Not to Be Weird About It

My boss thinks royalty are vampires and honestly I can’t prove him wrong.

So there’s a total lunar eclipse happening this Tuesday, which means we get a blood moon, which means I have to sit through another forty-five minute encrypted video call where Wolf explains to me why this is definitely connected to ancient Babylonian demon worship and also possibly vampires.

I love my job. I really do.

For those of you who don’t spend your Tuesday evenings on dark web communication channels discussing the metaphysical implications of lunar phenomena with a man who has been sued for $33 million by Microsoft (seriously, this happened), let me catch you up…

A blood moon happens when the Earth passes between the sun and the moon, casting a shadow that turns the moon a deep coppery red. It’s beautiful, actually. Very romantic if you’re into that sort of thing. Also, according to multiple religious traditions and my increasingly concerned boss, it might signal the end of human civilization as we know it.

But probably not. Probably it’s fine.

Probably.

Prophecies are Weird and Scary

Here’s the thing about the Book of Revelation that nobody tells you in Sunday school - it’s genuinely unsettling when you read it as an adult and then look at the news.

Joel 2:31 says “The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the great and terrible day of the Lord come.” Acts 2:20 repeats it almost word for word. Revelation 6:12 describes the moon becoming “as blood” right before some extremely dramatic events involving earthquakes and stars falling from the sky and powerful people hiding in caves begging rocks to fall on them.

Now, I’m not saying that Tuesday’s lunar eclipse is THE blood moon. There have been hundreds of lunar eclipses throughout history and we’re all still here, scrolling through our phones, eating snacks, existing. The world has not ended yet. This is empirically verifiable.

But Wolf would like me to remind you that there’s a first time for everything.

Nimrod’s Kids Apparently Never Left

So here’s where it gets weird. Or weirder.

The full moon was a major symbol of the Persian Empire. Their calendar was lunar. The crescent and star that later became associated with Islam actually has roots in ancient Persian and Mesopotamian symbolism. The moon goddess was huge in that region for thousands of years before anyone showed up with a Bible.

Wolf, during one of our encrypted editorial meetings that somehow always turn into graduate-level seminars on ancient occult symbolism, informed me that the royal family of Persia were (and I am quoting him here because I could not make this up) “vampires descended from Nimrod who used the blood moon as their calling card.”

I asked for sources. He sent me nine PDFs and a link to a website that looked like it was designed in 1997 by someone who had just discovered both HTML and methamphetamines.

I couldn’t actually disprove any of it.

Nimrod, according to Genesis, was a “mighty hunter before the Lord” who founded Babylon. Ancient texts describe him as a giant, a tyrant, someone who defied God and tried to build a tower to heaven. Rabbinic literature gets even spicier, suggesting he was the one who threw Abraham into a furnace and may have possessed supernatural abilities.

The Persian royal families claimed descent from ancient Mesopotamian bloodlines. This is historical fact, not conspiracy theory. Whether those bloodlines included vampire DNA is, I suppose, a matter of faith.

Now you’re probably thinking “okay Lily, your boss is a fascinating lunatic, but none of this is provable.” And you’d be right. Except for one tiny problem.

Alexander the Great.

The Greatest Military Mind in History Wrote Letters About Fighting Werewolves

I need you to understand who we are talking about here.

This is not some random medieval peasant who drank too much mead and saw shapes in the fog. This is Alexander the Great. The man who conquered the known world by the time he was thirty. By the age most of us are finishing a master’s degree and still figuring out how to do our taxes, Alexander had already defeated the Persian Empire, controlled territory from Greece to India, and fundamentally reshaped human civilization.

Alexander fighting with two-headed dragons (London, British Library, Royal MS 20 B XX, f. 83v)

The guy was arguably the greatest military tactician who ever lived. He was tutored by Aristotle. He was not stupid. He was not prone to fantasy. He was a cold, calculating conqueror who dealt in reality because reality was how you won wars.

And he wrote letters to Aristotle describing the monsters he fought during his campaigns.

Google it. Seriously. The “Alexander Romance” and related texts contain accounts of his army encountering giants in India. Headless men with faces in their chests. Creatures that could shapeshift. Beings that sound exactly like what we would now call werewolves. Flying spheres of light that followed his army across continents, observing them.

Medieval kings and queens were fascinated by these accounts. They studied them. They believed them. Back when people still took seriously the devils and demons that Scripture warns are all around us, Alexander’s monster encounters were considered historical fact, not mythology.

Then somewhere along the way, we decided we were too smart for all that. Scholars stopped teaching it. The accounts got filed under “legend” and “exaggeration” and “primitive superstition.” We forgot.

But ancient peoples weren’t stupid. They knew what a lion looked like. They knew what an eagle looked like. When they described a creature with the body of a lion and the head of an eagle, they weren’t confused about basic animal taxonomy. They were describing something they saw.

All those monsters we think of as mythology? The giants, the hybrid creatures, the things that feed on blood under cover of darkness? Maybe they were real once. Maybe some of them still are, hiding somewhere, waiting.

Maybe that waiting ends under a blood moon.

I’m not saying I believe all of this. I’m just saying I’m going to stay inside on Tuesday.

That Thing Your Grandma Says Is Actually an Occult Code

You’ve heard this phrase your whole life. “March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb.” Everyone assumes it’s about weather. Cold and stormy at the beginning, mild and pleasant by the end. Makes sense.

Wolf has a different interpretation. And the more I think about it, the more the standard explanation sounds like something we all just accepted because nobody bothered to question it.

March is named after Mars. The Roman god of war. March was historically the month when military campaigns resumed after winter. Blood started flowing again after the frozen months. The lion has been a symbol of kingship, power, and conquest across virtually every ancient culture. It’s the symbol of Babylon. It’s the symbol of Persia. It’s also the symbol of Satan. 1 Peter 5:8 says “your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.”

A lion is not a lamb. These are not two versions of the same thing. These are opposites.

The lion represents war. Chaos. Destruction. The devouring force that seeks to consume everything in its path.

The lamb represents peace. Sacrifice. Redemption. The Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.

So “in like a lion, out like a lamb” isn’t cute weather folklore. It’s a prophecy dressed up as a saying. March, the month of Mars, the month of war, begins with the forces of chaos and destruction in control. The roaring lion has his moment. The blood moon rises. Evil celebrates its temporary victory.

And then?

The Lamb shows up. The Prince of Peace. The King of the Universe. And He kicks the lion’s teeth in.

That’s the promise hidden in a phrase your grandma used to say about the weather. March doesn’t belong to Mars forever. War doesn’t win. The lion roars, but the Lamb has the final word.

Why I Sleep Fine at Night (Mostly)

I’m a college student with approximately $147 in my checking account and a thesis deadline that haunts my dreams. I have enough things to worry about without adding “possible apocalypse” to the list.

But here’s what I keep coming back to whenever Wolf sends me another article about blood moons and ancient vampire dynasties and Alexander the Great’s werewolf problem:

Christ promised us He would handle it.

That’s the whole point. That’s the entire message. Evil gets its season. Darkness has its hour. The blood moon rises and the powers of this world celebrate their temporary victories and everything feels overwhelming and scary and like maybe the bad guys are winning.

But dawn always comes.

The sun rises. Not eventually, not hopefully, not if we’re lucky. The sun rises because that’s what the sun does. It’s built into the fabric of reality. Darkness (evil) is temporary. Light (good) is eternal.

Or, as Wolf would say with that weird glint he gets in his eye whenever he makes biblical wordplay: “The moon can turn to blood, but only the Son of God lasts forever.”

Yeah. He’s like that.

Tuesday Night Plans

I don’t know what to tell you, honestly. Watch the eclipse if you can. It’s going to be beautiful regardless of its potential eschatological implications. Maybe say a prayer. Maybe hug someone you love. Maybe just acknowledge that we’re all tiny creatures on a spinning rock hurtling through infinite space and the fact that we’re here at all is either a cosmic accident or a divine miracle depending on your worldview, and either way, it’s kind of amazing.

If the world ends, well, at least we won’t have to pay off our student loans.

If it doesn’t end, which it probably won’t, then we wake up Wednesday morning and keep going. Keep hoping. Keep believing that the lamb defeats the lion eventually, even when the lion seems to be winning.

March comes in like a lion. It goes out like a lamb.

Darkness falls. Dawn rises.

The blood moon is temporary. The Son is eternal.

See ya later alligator!

Lily

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Lily is the co-editor of The Wise Wolf, where she handles research, editing, and occasionally talking Wolf down from his more elaborate conspiracy theories. She is pursuing her degree in journalism and would like everyone to know that she does not personally believe that Persian royalty are vampires. Probably. The paid subscriptions that keep this publication running also help her avoid student loan debt, which she appreciates more than you know.

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